2011 will end

31.12.2011

the last day in 2011

yesterday i hurt

today i sad

hey mister A did u know i hurt when u said like that

please don't do it again

i don't want my heart hurt because i afraid my heart will less for u

u know how much i care bout u

so please don't said like that to me again

u know when i in 'tersepit' situation?

u know?

know?

between u and my family

i feel like want fly in the sky without think bout it

both of u are important 

but for me family first but u still important

so please understand me

it's hurt me when both of u all make me in dilemma situation

so hurt the both are important then the family first

that me 

how love u are to me pon mama still teach me the family first

huh if u all know what are happen in my heart when i'm in dilemma situation

so bad so so so bad in my heart

sometime feel like what kill myself

if u know the real me and my situation with my family........

today my tears going out

when u text me said

"lau t b btl xbdya,b nk mty at rba baby,b nk tdo trus dlm ribaan bby"

when u said u dream about arwah your brother ask u to keep accompany him

u know what i'm so sad so sad

please don't said like that

please

please

please 

please

don't go 

please make the operation

please 

please

please

please

please

if u really want go please wait until i can accept the fact

please wait until i make your favorite chocolate cake and i mouthful the cake to u

please 

please

please

don't make me like this

it's like killing me

u know...

so please don't talk like that again

okayh

promise?

promise?

wait okayh.....

buntu

speechless

don't know what 2 say

heartless

hurt

sick

everything will ruined 

why must have the test like this

the test will make me hurt

i'm hurt

i was plan for everything

but..

it's okayh

if it's the test for us i'm redha 

redha with His fate for us

i love my dear mister A

love very much

until don't know how to describe my love for him

nothing i can said

mister A u know in 1 relationship we will share everything together 

if it's a problem we will find the solution together 

if it's bout credit we will share together 

for me if we love someone we willing to share happiness and sadness together

no the istilah "ta suke makan budi orang"

it's not like that okayh

u know i love u right?so please..

as long as Allah give me a breath and jodoh me with u, i will face it together with u

understand that?

i don't how 2 show my feeling

with this blog i write everything i feel and express my feeling

i want u know that i love u

just that

i am i

i am i

the way i am is i

that the thing i want said

i hurt so hurt coz i make him hurt n cry

so bad 

but i did not do the thing

even the smallest to the biggest thing i have told u

u know what u are the first know who am i 

i feel so silly and shamed u know

how it hurt me when i tell u the truth until it less nothing to tell

all is out with u

i don't know how 2 prove it to u that i'm not do that

i feel like want fly from the highest place and laugh alone

hurt so hurt very hurt

i'm not cry my tears don't want out but my heart was cry

if u read this blog i want u know something

that i know i'm not too good to u

i'm not beauty to u

i'm not kind to u

i always make u hurt 

but my heart was for u

all my heart is full of u

that all

i love u so much

so much and much

~my heart now are crying so hurt and sick~

my feeling

i don't know how 2 describe but i just want to tell that i love my mister A 
i try to be the best for him because he so serious about our relationship
so lucky because he can accept me who am i
accept my weakness my self
i'm so lucky
yes he the person make me realize that love is not all must perfect 
when we love someone we must accept their self even their not perfect that call LOVE
willing to face everything together 
and i hope he the last person i love and our relationship will stay forever and ever
he make me be my own self without hiding even a little about my self
i hope he will love me forever and ever
i miss him everyday..ha ha ha ha 
can't wait to know whether him can transfer to the melaka or not
dear mister A 
InsyAllah we will together forever and ever dear

special 4 u

promise promises

•    I promise never to lie to you even when telling a lie might be safer than the truth.
•    I promise to remind you every day that I love you.
•    I promise to always share everything with you.
•    I promise to cheer you up when you are feeling down.
•    I promise not to jump to conclusions when you’re out without me
•    I promise not to be jealous when you talk about Katy Perry or any girl I know you can’t get.
•    I promise to sing any song to you on your birthday or our anniversary.
•    I promise to always tell you what’s on my mind.
•    I promise to give you a massage when you get out of work and you’re sore.
•    I promise not to be disappointed when you don’t meet my expectations on certain things.
•    I promise never to take the things you do for me for granted. I know what you have been doing these past months and I love you for it.
•    I promise to give you beautiful children someday.
•    I promise to never give up hope on us.
•    I promise to always love you even if our relationship starts to get bad or if we break up. I will always love you.
•    I need you to tell me when you start to have second thoughts about us.
•    I need you to hold my hand and tell me everything is fine when I have my anxiety attacks.
•    I need you not to give up. That includes in everything. Your classes, your job search, and especially our relationship. Don’t let me down.
•    I need you not to throw away anything that reminds you of me if we ever break up.
•    I need you to remind me why you love me from time to time.
•    I need you not to call other girls ‘hun’, ‘babe’, ‘sweetie’, ‘love’, ‘adorable’, etc. It’s not appropriate.
•    I need you to send me good morning text messages if I’m not waking up besides you.
•    I need you to hug me when we’re watching a movie and I find it sad and begin to cry.
•    I need you to kiss my forehead and give me Eskimo kisses when you’re with me.
•    I need you to compliment me. There’s days where I feel insecure and need you to make me feel pretty.
•    I need you not to give people a reason to say you don’t deserve me.
•    I need you to keep your promises.
•    I need you to remember things that I ask you to do. The only reason why I don’t remind you is that I don’t want to seem annoying, but it bums me out when you completely forget.
•    I need you to tell me when you’re getting jealous so I can fix it.
•    I need you to spend time with me just laying down and talking. No distractions or interruptions.
•    I need you to let me borrow your sweater occasionally so I can wear it and take in your scent.
•    I need you to let me win all of our playful fights and when we get into an argument, don’t make me wait for your phone call all night.
•    I need you to remember that the simple things we do mean the world to me. I can spend days in bed with you and never get bored.
•    I need you to accomplish all these and I promise I will marry you someday.

new life new chance

nothing much i want to write

just want to said

in our life we must give someone chance 2 change

and thanks to someone coz give me chance to change

and i will be the best

in our life sometime not all we want we will get it

what ever we get we must thankful and appreciate it

what happen in our past life we must take it as memory and moral in our life

if it is bad we must avoid it

and if it's good we must make it as value that can follow it

i appreciate what i have now 

and hopefully it the best in my life

as a human we do the mistake me too

and i hope it never happen again

i don't want it happen

i will avoid it

the one's is the best

hope the one's will read this and understand it

it just a ordinary blog but what was written is 4 u actually

i appreciate u and thanks so much coz accept me


~thanks mister afendy~
<3 u